Malta Song, A

DESCRIPTION: "We're flying !!!ing Hurricanes with !!!ing long range tanks"; when they have to fight, the guns won't fire. "Ain't they !!!ing lovely aircraft?" The singers complain about Wimpeys, Albacores, Blenheims, Ansons, Bostons, Whitleys
AUTHOR: unknown
EARLIEST DATE: 1967 (Ward-Jackson/Lucas-AirmansSongBook)
KEYWORDS: technology curse derivative
FOUND IN:
REFERENCES (1 citation):
Ward-Jackson/Lucas-AirmansSongBook, pp. 184-187, "A Malta Song" (1 text, 1 tune)
CROSS-REFERENCES:
cf. "John Brown's Body" (tune) and references there
cf. "The Firth of Flaming Forth"" (tune, idea, some lyrics)
NOTES [569 words]: Never have I seen a song go after so many aircraft -- some deserving of the scorn, some not. (Though it's interesting that none of the best British planes of the war, the Spitfire, the Lancaster, and the Mosquito, is listed. But it doesn't list the worst clunks, either, like the Defiant and the Stirling.) Most of the information here derives from Kenneth Munson, Aircraft of World War II, second edition, Doubleday, 1972. The aircraft:
-- The Hurricane. Britain's first monoplane fighter. It wasn't a terrible plane, but its performance was inferior to the Spitfire and to German planes, so it's understandable that the pilot would want something better. I haven't heard of it being particularly unreliable, though. For it, see also "Western Desert Madness."
-- The Wimpey, i.e. the Vickers Wellington bomber. (For how it came to be known as the "Wimpey," and a lot of other details, see "Ops in a Wimpey." It was the best two-engine bomber the British had to start the war, so in this case the complaint is pretty unfair.
-- The Albacore. THIS one deserved everything nasty that could be said about it, and then some. It was nominally in service from 1940 to 1944, but was rarely seen before 1941 or after 1942. It could fly faster than the 97 knots mentioned in the song (top speed, according to Munson, p. 62, was 161 miles per hour), but 97 knots is about right for cruising speed. It was a biplane, it was cranky, it was so ridiculous that the Swordfish, which it was intended to replace, actually outlasted it. For other songs complaining about it, see "He'll Never Fly Home Again" and "There's a Fuck-up on the Flight Deck."
-- The Blenheim is the Bristol Blenheim, another two-engine bomber like the Wimpey/Wellington. On paper a decent plane (top speed 266 miles per hour, according to Munson, p. 38), it never worked very well in practice, though the lack of alternatives meant that wasn't entirely phased out until 1943. It does strike me as a little odd to complain in the same song about the Blenheim and the Wellington. If you're a bomber pilot early in the war and stuck in a Blenheim, your best hope is to get your squadron re-equipped with Wellingtons. Complaining about them seems like a way to make sure you don't get upgraded!
-- The Anson is the Avro Anson, the subject of "Old Annie." As a combat aircraft, it wasn't much, although it was a successful trainer. This verse appears to have wandered in from elsewhere; an Anson probably wouldn't have been in service around Malta at the same time as these other planes.
-- The Boston was the Douglas A-20 Boston, an American two-engine light bomber. Faster than the Blenheim or Wellington (317 m.p.h., according to Munson, p. 57), a modified version actually served as a night fighter. The British used them as both fighters and bombers. Munson, p. 56, says it was "very much a 'pilot's aeroplane,'" so it's surprising to see the pilots complain about it. Note that, in this case, it is being used as a night fighter.
-- The Whitley. Yet another of Britain's attempts at a two-engine bomber, and (like the Blenheim) a flop. For it, see "Ops in a Whitley."
Considering the list of planes in the song, it would strongly appear this was put together in late 1941 or early 1942. Any earlier and there wouldn't have been any Albacores to complain about; any later and the Hurricanes and (especially) Blenheims and Whitleys would have been gone. - RBW
Last updated in version 6.8
File: WJL184

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