Bunch of Bastards

DESCRIPTION: "We're a bunch of bastards, bastards are we, We of the Air Force are assholes of the earth... 'Cause we're a bunch of bastards, Morphidites [?] are we, We'd sooner fuck than fight for victory." Or "We're a bunch of bastards... We're the dockyard cavalry"
AUTHOR: unknown
EARLIEST DATE: 1934 (term paper, Goldstone, College Songs that Are Unprinted (for Obvious Reasons, according to John Patrick)
KEYWORDS: soldier navy bawdy
FOUND IN: Canada
REFERENCES (2 citations):
Hopkins-SongsFromTheFrontAndRear, p. 113, "Bunch of Bastards" (1 short text, 1 tune)
Tawney-GreyFunnelLines-RoyalNavy, p. 42, "The Dockyard Cavalry" (1 short text, tune referenced)
Roud #29395 and 29949
CROSS-REFERENCES:
cf. "Our Director" (tune, according to Tawney-GreyFunnelLines-RoyalNavy)
cf. "On the Steps of I.U." (tune, according to John Patrick)
NOTES [320 words]: Hopkins-SongsFromTheFrontAndRear claims there are many versions of this, but cites only one verse. Tawney-GreyFunnelLines-RoyalNavy's stanza is different -- a navy version rather than an army version -- but it seems to demonstrate Hopkins's claim.
John Patrick pointed me to the 1934 term paper by Sherle R. Goldstone, "College Songs That Are Unprinted (for Obvious Reasons)," which is available on The Internet Archive (currently at https://archive.org/details/1934-college-songs-that-are-unprinted-for-obvious-reasons-sherle-r-goldstone). On pp. 24-25, it offers two versions, one clean:
We're a bunch of pharmacists, Pharmacists are we, We hail from A.C.P. Union University... We'd rather hail than fight For A.C.P.
The second version is much closer to the military versions, although it's clearly a college song:
We're a bunch of bastards, Scum of the earth, We hail from Colgate, Rottenest dump in these United States.... We'd rather (----) than fight For victory.
These versions are listed as sung to "Old Gray Bonnet," but as Patrick noted, the tune doesn't fit.
Patrick also found a version from p. 26 of "Apples of Eden," from 1945:
We're a bunch of bastards, Scum of the earth. We're from the U. of C., The asshole of the earth, And all the Universe; Oh, we're a bunch of fairies, Morphodites are we. We'd rather fuck than fight For Victory.
None of these collections were properly published; they are all in typescript rather than typeset.
Interestingly, every version seems to consist of a single verse. It seems clear that there was an original somewhere that was adapted by all sorts of people. Clearly a very "underground" song.
Patrick also managed to find five recordings. He notes that two are sung to "Our Director March," which presumably is the tune indicated by Tawney, two are sufficiently corrupt as to not really have an identifiable tune, and one has shifted to "I've Been Working on the Railroad."
Last updated in version 6.6
File: Hopk113

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